Inspiration
Using “Life Happens” to Shape Our Faith Life
During my earlier years as a teacher, I struggled to find a balance between home and work. More specifically, I struggled to find a balance between being a wife, mother, daughter and teacher. There were days when I felt like I wasn’t good at any of those roles. Eventually, long hours at work and neglect of family and myself, led to an overall sense of dissatisfaction with my life. I decided to make changes in hopes that I’d find a greater sense of joy. I started reading self-help books to improve my mind and gain a more positive outlook on life. Gradually, I started a workout routine and slowly started feeling healthier and stronger. Before long I felt like a new person, but my “old marriage” didn’t fit my “new self.” It seemed to me that the increasing marital conflicts were magnified under the light of my new perspective, and as a result, my fifteen-year marriage ended in divorce.
Of course, this “solution” added to my struggles as I felt the burden and guilt of a single mom trying to manage the pieces of my two sons’ newly broken lives. Add to that, the stress of searching for an affordable place to live. Then, shortly after putting a security deposit down on a townhouse, I lost my job. My reading teacher position had been funded by a government grant and the funding had run out. To say I was a mess, is an understatement. Out of ideas and feeling hopeless, I found myself praying for the first time in a long time. I had grown up going to church and believing God was the creator of Heaven and Earth, but praying was not a habit in which I grew up. As a child and teen, I occasionally prayed but mostly to place my wish list and rarely to express gratitude. In fact, up to this point I had never thought about praying to get to know God or to know His will for my life. I had never even asked for forgiveness for the things I had done for which I still felt guilt. However, it was this one small act of prayer that set my life in a whole new direction.
After praying to be rescued, I felt a new sense of peace come over me and confidence that God would somehow make everything work out. These new feelings of peace and confidence must have been visible in my outward appearance because friends at work starting asking how I could be so calm and in such a good mood with “all I was going through.” At the time I wasn’t comfortable talking about my prayer life (after all, I hadn’t led a life of prayer) and I wasn’t comfortable talking about my faith (I was afraid of sounding like a “Jesus freak”) so instead of giving God the credit, I simply said that it must be the power of positive thinking. Within a few short weeks, I had been rehired in another building within the same district, and I was able to secure a place to live. Without knowing why, I felt an urge to thank the Lord for helping me rather than to chalk these events up to just good luck.
The Sunday after I moved into my townhouse, I decided to go to the church in my neighborhood. It was a sunny summer morning, and I walked the short distance there. I remember feeling awkward as I walked in not knowing anyone, but I was soon put at ease by some welcoming members. Little did I know that one day, I would be the one standing by the front door welcoming others into church.
That was over ten years ago, and I don’t remember the specific sermon that day, but I remember feeling a certain energy, a presence that made me crave more of the same feeling. I began attending church regularly; however, I didn’t talk to anyone. I’d slip in, hear the message, get my soul filled, and leave abruptly. I was careful to not make eye contact with anyone for fear I’d actually have to talk to someone. What did I have to talk about? I was broken and felt I had nothing to offer anyone. I continued this pattern for weeks until one Sunday, there was an announcement at the end of the service made about a new women’s book study that would begin meeting on Saturday mornings. When I heard the title of the book, What Happens When Women Say Yes to God by Lysa Terkeurst, I felt the urge to sign up. I thought this was crazy since I’d never before considered such a thing! At first, I resisted the urge. After all, what would I have in common with a group of church going women? I imagined them all with their perfect families, living perfect Godly lives, never making mistakes. I told myself I would never fit in with such a group, so I did my usual mad dash out the door immediately after the service to avoid the sign-up sheet.
The following Sunday another announcement was made about the women’s study, and again, I felt the urge to sign up. However, this time I found myself drawn to the table with the sign-up sheet and before I knew it, I had committed to joining the women’s study. It was this commitment that ultimately led me to the biggest and most important commitment I would ever make in my life; the commitment to open my heart to say YES to living a life with God.
Within minutes of attending the first women’s study, I knew I was in the right place. I met women of all ages with a wide range of experiences and social backgrounds. As I learned about these women, my fear of being judged slowly began melting away. Although my unfamiliarity with the Bible made it challenging for me to keep up as we read the excerpts from the book and studied the accompanying Bible verses, I didn’t give up. The more we read and talked, the more I wanted to know about the Bible and how to have a “relationship” with God. I was confused about how anyone could have an intimate relationship with someone who wasn’t present in the physical sense.
In addition to the required weekly readings for group, I started reading various sections of the Bible and noticed certain passages resonated with me. I wrote them down so I could read them over and over again. At first, I wrote them on index cards but at one of our study groups, I learned that several women wrote in journals as they studied the Bible. I decided to try this form of journaling and discovered it felt almost therapeutic. I logged all my favorite verses and began memorizing them. Then one day something unexpected happened. My journal turned into a tool for communicating directly with God. When all was well, I thanked God for all the blessings He bestowed upon my family and I. When things were rough, I confided my innermost fears and hurts. I added prayers for others in need and words of gratitude for prayers answered. I asked questions and waited for answers. Throughout the day, I’d ask God for guidance in decision making and patience in dealing with difficult situations. I’d recite familiar verses to keep myself calm and full of strength when I felt weak. Without realizing it, I was developing my own personal relationship with God. As my relationship with God blossomed, so did my relationship within the church community. I volunteered to serve at Sunday school, at the weekly youth programs, at Summer Vacation Bible School, at communion and yes, at the front door as a greeter.
Without realizing it, I was developing my own personal relationship with God.During this time of growing my relationship with God and the church, I was introduced to the brother-in-law of my co-worker/friend and shortly after, we began dating. My growing love for the Lord was contagious and before long, this new man in my life was attending church and seeking out his own relationship with the Lord. Eventually, I married this man and a few months later, we joined a couple’s Bible study. As a blended family, we served in local missions such as the food bank and the local homeless shelter. On the outside our family looked like all was well, but underneath storms were brewing. From teenage rebellion and issues with our ex-spouses, to career changes and a long-distance move, we were tossed in every direction.
Up to that point, I was under the notion that people who worshipped God and served others in his name had easier lives; the good things happen to good people cliché. While that may seem true for some, I realized through experience and scripture that being a follower of Christ doesn’t automatically exempt us from tough times. In fact, in John 16:33 Jesus tells His disciples, “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” On one hand, Jesus warned his disciples and continues to warn us today, to expect difficult times because we live in a broken world where perfection does not exist. However, Jesus also offers us comfort in knowing that we can actually feel peace in spite of our troubles because He is bigger and stronger than all our troubles. If Jesus had the power to overcome the death of sin by rising up on the third day after his crucifixion, just think of the power He brings to the table on our behalf when we ask for His help.
Time and time again, throughout each tough circumstance, my husband and I remained committed to reading daily devotions, prayed for guidance in right words and right actions, read our favorite Bible verses over and over, and sought out support from our church community. It was these actions that boosted our trust in God’s plan and spurred us to pray for His will to be done, rather than pray for the outcome we wanted. Once we shifted our prayer focus from our will to God’s will, we were able to let go of the burden of having the outcome all figured out. It was disappointing when things sometimes didn’t work out as we had hoped, but the more we trusted in God’s plan, the easier it became to see the good shining through the bad. God doesn’t always give us what we want, but He always gives us what we need to grow spiritually and stronger in relationship with Him.
As a result of these experiences, I’ve come to know three truths about God and His love:
- God loves you. Yes, you. This is why He allows, not causes, but allows the storms of life to sometimes hit. God uses our weaknesses during these times to humble us to rely on Him. “Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that He may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you” (1 Peter 5:6-7). It’s through our complete reliance on God that we see His power working in our lives. This builds our trust in Him which leads to a stronger faith and ultimately, a stronger relationship with God.
- Your life matters. When things don’t work out the way we hoped, or we get one bad break after another, or we are caught in a destructive cycle of bad decision making, it’s easy to feel like God has turned His back on us and doesn’t care. However, with the unconditional love only a parent knows, God our Heavenly Father continues to hear our cries of distress, rescue us from the pit of despair, and rejoice when we turn our hearts to Him. “He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out of the mud and the mire. He set my feet on solid ground and steadied me as I walked along” (Psalm 40:2). Every laugh and every tear matters to our Heavenly Father. Whether we realize it or not, He is with us to celebrate in our times of joy and to steady our feet in our times of difficulty.
- You have a purpose. God specifically designed your body, your mind, and your spirit to meet the needs of the life in which He created you. No one else has what you have, and it’s up to you to use all that God has given you to further His kingdom. “As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God’s varied grace…” (1 Peter 4:10). Jesus modeled for us how to serve others when He humbly washed His disciple’s feet and instructed them, “do as I have done for you” (John 13:15). The bottom line is that we were all created to serve, but how we serve is determined by the individual talents in which we’ve been entrusted. If you are unsure about your purpose and how you can serve, use your prayer time to ask God for clarity to recognize ways in which you can use your skills to meet the needs of others.
Journal questions to reflect on:
- Reflect on your most memorable life happenings (good and difficult). How has God showed up for you or your family during these moments?
- How satisfied are you with your prayer life? Do you pray for God’s will or for the outcome you want? How does submitting to God’s will take the pressure off of you?
- How does accepting these three truths about God and His love change your perspective on your life?